It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
