I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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