Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
