just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
