it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
