I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize