I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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