This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
