Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
BRING THE BAGELS
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
