You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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