did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
