God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
