Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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