oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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