Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sober January is a disaster.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
