i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
