I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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