Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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