I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
