my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
