omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
