you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
