Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm like, not good at living.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
