Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
