I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Someone signed my nipple.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
