man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
