you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
