you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I cut my penus on the lid.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
