i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
