Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
