Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
