we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
