and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
