Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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