no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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