No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
