Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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