bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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