My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
