i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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