Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know her cup size but not her name....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
