HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
