If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
