"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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