Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
