You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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