Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
