i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
