I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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