idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
