I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
