In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Text me some of your sweat
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
