Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
