So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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