My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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