i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
