So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
