awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
