Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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