i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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