i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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