Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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