i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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