Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
