well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
