I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the condom got lost in my hair
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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