i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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