Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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