the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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