i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize