I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
send nudes
from the living room?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
