You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
