so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
