Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
